Ever Wonder Why Florida Seems So Hopeless?S

Juan Ponce de León, and everyone who has come since, willed himself to think that a swamp with no gold in it could be turned into a goldmine. (That's where Washington, D.C. planners got it right. They figured out that a marsh, not a swamp, is the essential ingredient in bullshit-to-gold alchemy.) Who knew that what was once home to swamp dwelling natives would become a haven for, well, you know, Florida Man.

It all started in the 1500s. You know the rest of the story ...